How Do We Begin To Heal A Broken World?
The last week has been a lot. Well, to be honest, 2020 has been a lot. There are so many things going on and I need to shake out some of these thoughts that are swirling around inside my head. Our world feels broken. We have a leader that doesn’t lead with compassion, a pandemic that is causing fear and anger, and now, we have been hit in the face by racism — again. It feels like the world is on fire and we are just tossing more gasoline on it.
We are in an election year and so many people aren’t happy with our current leader. A leader who seems to mock religion, racism and violence. A leader who seems more eager to stir the pot with disparaging comments. A leader who spends so much time managing his Twitter account that he can’t even see what is unraveling in his own country. The country that he took an oath to lead.
If our own leadership is failing us, how can we not feel vulnerable? It’s a time when we have to really look into ourselves and attempt the rebuild. United we stand, divided we fall. The line between Republicans and Democrats appears to have been drawn with a Sharpie. Where is the flexibility?
Also, we are still in the midst of a pandemic, where there is a lot of opinion and controversy. Is it political? Do we believe the scientists or the statistics from the states that are showing high death totals? Do we continue to stay shut down? Our economy is suffering. Our mental health is suffering. I don’t know the answers, none of us do.
Last week, I met a friend for breakfast, and we weren’t wearing masks. An older gentleman commended us on taking a stand against wearing masks. We weren’t taking a stand, we were eating breakfast! To some, being asked to wear masks to protect others is a violation of their rights. Guess what? I call it being a good person. Read the room, know what businesses you are visiting and what their rules are. If I can wear a mask to make someone else feel safer, then I will wear the mask!
This pandemic has caused a flood of emotions. Most of us have never seen anything like it in our lifetime and fingers crossed, we won’t again. Each of us is reacting to this in our own way and in that, we should honor each other’s fears and frustrations. It’s okay to put yourself out there and it’s okay to become a hermit. YOU have to do what makes YOU feel best. None of us should be judging how someone else is handling this. This is new and it is scary. It’s okay to sit in those emotions.
Racism. This is something that has never gone away but the recent deaths of George Floyd and Ahmed Aubrey (and so many more before them) has caused an uproar in our country. A necessary uproar. We — as humans, as sisters, brothers, moms, dads, friends — as a whole nation, have to take a stand. We have to make changes happen.
People are dying because of the color of their skin. In cold blood. It’s not okay and it never has been, yet it continues to exist. As a white woman, I am considered to be privileged. I can absolutely own this. The color of my skin allows me to have a lot of grace thrown my way. Because of this, I am cautious. I want to be very mindful in raising awareness for the Black community, but I also want to be thoughtful in my words. I don’t know what it’s like to be anything other than white.
It is however about the world that we share. I am an empath and seeing others hurt literally crushes my heart. This pain is not okay. Old wounds are being opened. People are standing up. They are protesting in peace, they are offering support, they are educating themselves. They are unlearning and learning anew. You can’t not be racist; you have to be anti-racist. Before last week, I didn’t realize this.
It’s being said that silence is compliance. I am not being silent. I have reached out to my Black friends and heard their heartbreak. I am listening. I am reading. I am paying attention. I believe that many are. Even the ones who seem silent. I believe that so many are putting in the work. They are working internally to be able to stand up better externally.
When George Floyd is heard saying his mama’s name in the minutes leading up to his death, mom hearts everywhere were broken. We heard you George Floyd. As a mom of a kid who has struggled, who has seen the divide of Blacks and Whites in the juvenile system, this speaks to my heart. These are all someone’s babies. As moms, we look out for each other. Or we should. Mom is a universal word.
The chorus to Billy Joel’s song, We Didn’t Start the Fire is like an ear-worm these days.
We didn’t start the fire
It was always burning
Since the world’s been turning
We didn’t start the fire
No we didn’t light it
But we tried to fight it
But did we fight hard enough? No. Had we kept standing up and had we kept fighting, this wouldn’t be the norm for our Black friends. Things feel broken on so many levels. They have been for a very long time.
We live in a world where an eye for an eye seems to be the way it goes. As a believer in non-violence, I can’t understand. How could a cop just stand on a man’s throat until he took his last breath? How does a man get gunned down because he was assumed to have done something? Who are these heartless humans that take it upon themselves to end a life?
I also want to preface that I don’t believe that all cops are evil. I think many are good people who do hope to make a difference. I also think it’s a profession where it’s easy to have power and be reckless. I have friends that are cops. I have friends who are married to cops. This is not an easy road for anyone right now. It’s a scary time to be in law enforcement. Scarier than ever.
We live in a world where we are allowed to carry guns on our person in many states. It requires a special license. A concealed carry permit is a something that many possess. It allows you to have a gun on your person at any given time. For some, this symbolizes their rights as Americans — as per the Second Amendment — for others, it’s about safety and protecting themselves.
I am not here to dispute your rights nor your love of guns. What I do know is violence is an issue and it’s so easy for so many to feel like they can kill someone. As I watch videos of white men lined up with their guns — looking like a small army — proclaiming that they will protect themselves, I cringe. It is that easy to act? To shoot? To kill someone. It feels like a blood bath mentality sometimes.
I also don’t believe that riots are making a positive point although many would debate me on that. When I see businesses being looted — it feels wrong. When people who aren’t the problem are losing their livelihood, it feels wrong. Again, I am aware that my opinion on this is an unpopular one. Peaceful protests are a wonderful way to send a message. When the rioting starts, the police do what they are hired to do — to protect and to serve. This is when the cycle repeats itself.
I recently watched the series and read the book, Little Fires Everywhere by Celeste Ng. It was before the riots and the protests, but this quote seems too sum things up right now.
Sometimes you need to scorch everything to the ground, and start over. After the burning, the soil is richer and new things can grow. People are like that too. They start over. They find a way.
Powerful, right? Although I’d like to see this done without literally burning down the entire world.
Opinions are being handed out everywhere and many of them are being handed out with a bit of self-righteousness. The way that some people express themselves seems like it literally drips with hate and disgust. Why? We are not meant to think the same thoughts, but kindness goes a long way, doesn’t it? Can we have conversations and see things in a new way? Yes, we can! These conversations won’t happen if someone isn’t open to it.
There are so many moving parts in all of this and no one person can say all the right things. It’s a time to be mindful. It’s a time to see that most people are good and true. It’s a time for not attacking someone if their beliefs don’t align with yours. Human kindness goes a long way and I think that if we can continue moving forward, together, that we can do great things.
I see is a world that is fragile and cracked wide open. We are raw and exposed. The social media platforms are on fire with do-gooders and also with people who are showing such an ugliness that we are finding ourselves unfriending people because their true colors are too much to bear.
In this process of our world feeling broken, I do believe that hearts are breaking open everywhere in the best possible ways. I believe that love can win. I do believe that we can come together and make things better. I’d like to think that as a whole, we will put the pieces of humanity back together. We will see each other as friends and not strangers.
You always gain by giving love. — Reese Witherspoon
